I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
