did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He did a backflip because drugs
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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