awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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