It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize