I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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