loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
