I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
