I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
how does that bad decision feel?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
