What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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