what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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