he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
