I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
