I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
