Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
