So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He's a Shit stain on my heart
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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