Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
