Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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