in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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