I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
