i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
