last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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