1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize