ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
