you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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