That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
