I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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