I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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