Porn is love you can see.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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