Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
