Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
