so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
