hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
