I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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