so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
