even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I got inside last night via doggy door
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
