Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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