I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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