last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
