Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish you could order shots online.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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