accomplished twins. life is a go
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
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Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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