I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
