Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
