Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
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I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
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Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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