Moan for me like Helen Keller
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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