I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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