I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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