i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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