I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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