Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
