I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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