the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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