There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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