Texts From Last Night

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again

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  (720): he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again http://tfl.nu/4hwy
  Replies (16) Good night (919) Bad night (7995)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  You went to church with your boobs hanging out?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.

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  (937): You went to church with your boobs hanging out? (978): Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well. http://tfl.nu/nomt
  Replies (22) Good night (7081) Bad night (1266)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...

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  (414): you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened... http://tfl.nu/w2pr
  Replies (22) Good night (6926) Bad night (811)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"

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  (330): He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits" http://tfl.nu/f8ma
  Replies (15) Good night (4715) Bad night (1903)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved

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  (+61): They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved http://tfl.nu/or7i
  Replies (5) Good night (2028) Bad night (659)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.

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  (918): It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin. http://tfl.nu/s6ok
  Replies (26) Good night (3410) Bad night (870)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.

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  (908): Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more. http://tfl.nu/qarz
  Replies (6) Good night (594) Bad night (1429)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.

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  (270): Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together. http://tfl.nu/2jfm
  Replies (7) Good night (2372) Bad night (777)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off

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  (406): All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off http://tfl.nu/72k1
  Replies (14) Good night (2312) Bad night (1014)
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  (310): View more from California

  The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.

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  (310): The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses. http://tfl.nu/2i38
  Replies (8) Good night (529) Bad night (1041)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine

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  (317): Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine http://tfl.nu/233e
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (456)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding

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  (205): i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding http://tfl.nu/mji7
  Replies (3) Good night (362) Bad night (917)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.

  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?

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  (+44): Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls. (+41): What a patriot you are. How'd it happen? http://tfl.nu/t9je
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (342)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you

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  (615): well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you http://tfl.nu/f9wz
  Replies (1) Good night (317) Bad night (492)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.

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  (518): I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP. http://tfl.nu/tbuk
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (201)

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