Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

How did you manage that?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis

(203): View more from Connecticut

lol... jersey girls rock

Fav 66 1347 3212
share tweet
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.

Fav 24 5180 914
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined

Fav 12 4327 2105
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?

Fav 15 5049 1057
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(506): View more from New Brunswick

He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.

Fav 16 5369 1285
share tweet
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife

Fav 15 1359 7275
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(239): View more from Florida

I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.

(1-239): View more from Florida

I told you I'd buy you lunch.

Fav 8 1279 2092
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie

Fav 5 1630 605
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?

Fav 3 21 67
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT