How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
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I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?