Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.

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  (732): So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up. http://tfl.nu/tcvy
  Replies (2) Good night (1092) Bad night (929)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.

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  (512): Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks. http://tfl.nu/o3m2
  Replies (13) Good night (603) Bad night (3416)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.

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  (402): I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat. http://tfl.nu/6414
  Replies (14) Good night (4412) Bad night (1089)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience

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  (302): dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience http://tfl.nu/d1lz
  Replies (49) Good night (682) Bad night (6289)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.

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  (519): due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron. http://tfl.nu/58sn
  Replies (21) Good night (9157) Bad night (1264)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.

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  (201): Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here. http://tfl.nu/9um1
  Replies (10) Good night (1642) Bad night (3400)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, if you don't take her, I will.

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  (901): She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle. (1-901): Dude, if you don't take her, I will. http://tfl.nu/8ufn
  Replies (34) Good night (6925) Bad night (1359)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.

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  (250): I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/p0ju
  Replies (15) Good night (5859) Bad night (855)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.

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  (484): Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are. http://tfl.nu/0j8c
  Replies (16) Good night (939) Bad night (2833)
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  (760): View more from California

  i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.

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  (760): i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days. http://tfl.nu/h902
  Replies (11) Good night (2124) Bad night (1016)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP

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  (724): umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP http://tfl.nu/bluu
  Replies (4) Good night (450) Bad night (724)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.

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  (636): he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting. http://tfl.nu/kcge
  Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (292)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.

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  (847): Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way. http://tfl.nu/5snx
  Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (239)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong

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  (602): I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong http://tfl.nu/9evz
  Replies (1) Good night (908) Bad night (263)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal

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  (610): He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal http://tfl.nu/uo8b
  Replies (1) Good night (189) Bad night (546)

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