trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
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I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
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ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate