she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
