I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
