did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just pynch a tree in the face
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize